You gotta give to get…chances are this life principle was engrained into your being from an early age. Societies are created and communities held together by this universal code of humanity. Psychologists call this principle reciprocity--people feel obliged to give back to others who have given to them

Personal Examples

Let me share a personal example. My wife, Jan, and I were invited to dinner at the home of a couple we had recently met. The couple was nice, but not the type of people we wanted to invest the time to cultivate as friends (I hope this doesn’t sound snobby; it isn’t meant that way). However, on the ride home, not ten minutes after saying we didn’t want to expand this relationship, Jan was talking about having them over to dinner, to reciprocate. When I said I wasn’t crazy about it, I felt her anxiety; she (we) had been inculcated from an early age to return favors in kind. It was a hard decision not to reciprocate. Have you had a similar situation?

Here is another personal example I bet you can relate to. Let’s say it is the holiday season and you have sent out all the cards on your list of family and friends. Three days before the holiday you get a card from someone you barely know or a relative you don’t particularly like.* If you are like us, you drop everything, search for another card, fill it out and rush it to the mail. Think about how strong this reciprocity principle is: you drop everything to do a task that by logical definition has no value. If you don’t, it will bother you. This is one strong principle!

Business Impact

The reciprocity principle transcends into the business world as well. Most people first think, “Who can help me here?” Top influencers ask, “Whom can I genuinely help here?” When the other person receives from you something that has personal value without asking, it triggers the need to respond in kind. They will be actively looking for a way to return your kindness. This is a powerful builder of relationships and a great way to influence with integrity.

Personal Business Example

Let me share an example of my own. Whenever I talk to someone whom I feel has an interest in building a better services organization, I ask them if I can give them a copy of my latest book, Seriously Selling Services. No strings attached, they just give me a mailing address and that’s it. The response? People like it! I can hear and feel the tone of the conversation become more positive and more open. Later (and without me asking), I often see that this person has bought more book copies that they give to others in their company. Sometimes I receive a call about speaking, consulting, or training. This is a small investment on my part for such a positive return.

Recommendation

If you want to become better at persuasion, embrace this powerful principle and make it a part of your modus operandi. Before every important conversation, think about what you can provide that the other person will value and do so without being asked and without any strings attached. I think you will be pleasantly surprised.

Must-Have Resource

The principle of reciprocity, along with other research-based influencing concepts, is explained extremely well in the book by Robert Cialdini, Influence: Science and Practice (5th edition). If ethically persuading others is important to you, then this is a must-read.

*Cialdini’s research shows that because of the reciprocity principle people will return holiday cards from people they don’t even know!

If you’re interested in becoming a better influencer, join me in Denver, May 16-17 for Selling Services: Tools and Techniques for Top Performance. This two-day hands-on workshop will help you and your organization sell services easier and faster.

Tags: differentiation, selling services, leadership

There is an interesting article in the Wall Street Journal called "Getting Fit without the Pain." Here's the link.

The article talks about how some individuals desiring to make improvements in their fitness are hiring an expert physical therapist before they get hurt, as often occurs in rigorous training. These highly trained professionals conduct a detailed needs assessment before the individual starts training for a marathon or attempting weight loss or whatever, in order to tailor a program best suited for the individual. Taking the time to learn from an expert up front greatly improves the probability of success while minimizing the possibility of injury and pain. Makes sense to me.

Business Leader Impact

I believe there are some things we can learn from this article from a business perspective.

It is easy to jump on the train of Six Sigma or outsourcing or process reengineering. There are many organizations selling one-size-fits-all approaches that force fit a "solution" into your organization, sometimes without stellar results. In my area of focus, services, I often get hired by executives who have already bought into the philosophy of transitioning their services business from free to fee, and have started taking action with minimal impact. The learning here is that what is a best practice for one organization trying to seriously sell services might be a worst practice for another. An industry pundit would know the variables that impact change and help you adjust accordingly.

So my recommendation? Whenever you are considering taking a major initiative, invest in having a qualified expert conduct a readiness review for you. Here you will learn not only your probability of success and the steps to take, but most importantly, the actions to avoid.

Tags: leadership, selling services

Would you like to get more from your current resources?



Would you like to get higher billable hours from your technical talent?



Would you like to gain a distinct competitive advantage?

Join us for…

Leading and Managing Technical Talent:

Turning Technical Experts into Trusted Advisors

One-day Workshop

October 25, 2010

San Diego, CA

2010 Service Industry Summit

Technical experts who achieve trusted advisor status with their customers provide your organization with a distinct competitive advantage. Their value to your organization is immense. Yet, on average, only about five percent of technical talent enjoys this special relationship.

This one-day, highly interactive workshop teaches the critical concepts, practices, methods, and tools required to effectively lead and manage your technical talent. Implementing what is taught will help you increase the number of your trusted advisors and improve the competencies of all your people to add more value for your customers and more value to your organization.



There are two ways to attend:

1. Attend the pre-summit workshop for only $799


2. Attend the workshop and the Summit

LEARN MORE

What Makes this Workshop Unique?

Dr. Jim Alexander, the workshop leader, has conducted five studies (including the industry leading Transitioning Technical Experts into Trusted Advisors) to determine the best practices that separate the very best from all the rest. In addition, he as consulted and trained organizations on this topic for over 15 years. Therefore, everything taught is research-based, yet highly practical—and actionable. Participants will leave this hands-on session motivated to use the information and tools learned to immediately improve the performance of their technical talent.

Who Should Attend?

Any executive or manager who has responsibility for technical talent who interact with your customers and all others looking for ways to improve profitable growth.

What You Will Learn

• The benefits gained from increasing your number of trusted advisors.

• Highlights from Alexander’s latest trusted advisor research.

• What trusted advisors do that others don’t do.

• Where your people are on the Technical Talent Continuum.

• How your people stack up today on the Trusted Advisor Assessment.

• The six trust builders.

• The 10 commandments of trust-based consulting.

• The 12 success levers.

• The four trusted advisor capabilities.

• The six business development roles.

• Core relationship skills.

• Why everyone who touches the customer needs to sell.

• Influencing with integrity.

• Influencing the senior executive.

• Creating value.

• Steps to increasing your people’s business acumen.

• Special issues in managing knowledge workers.

• How to assess your technical force.

LEARN MORE

Tags: managing technical talent, professional services, selling services, training